Why do I feel so angry today?

Like I'm a walking time bomb

Whatever I do , ada sahaja yang tak kena

I feel I might hurt someone physically or verbally 

What is wrong with me?

Is it the medication?

Is it the hormone changes?

It it because I'm getting my period soon?

I know and I can feel something is not right with me now 

Small matters trigger me

I'm worried that I might hurt the students or even said things that I am not supposed to say to parents or to my team

I can feel even my speech is getting too fast

Should I take a break ?

is it because I am hungry?

Is it because of the medication?

Yes, I do able to focus but the concentration is quite short 

What should I do?

Why do this happen?

How can I calm myself?  I worried that I might be aggressive?

Is this the side effect of the medication?

What should I do?

Should I do my 30 mins of exercise today and sleep?

Last week, I did something impulse

This week, I get irrated easily

Next week? Will I go back to normal or I might end up be sad?

Argh...maybe taking this medication is wrong

Everything needs money

Cabut gigi needs money

Clinical Psychology consultation needs money

To get medicine needs money

I don't know why everything is not going smoothly

I know, 

I don't fulfil my religious obligation as serious as I should be 

Maybe, my work is not blessing?

How can I change all this?

When will things go smoothly

This is so hard on me 

I'm not sure how I can survive financially

There is a lot of things that I need to pay and settle

It's really embarrassing to face those people that I owe money too

I really want to settle all this as fast as I can

And like I promise my late parents

I should have NEVER loan money to anyone

That was my one truth mistake

I did not listen to papa

I went against him

I'm sorry papa

I must be firm

I must not borrow money from anyone and I must not loan money to anyone

For my siblings, It should be a sedeqah

They don't have to pay me back

This I what I should to do them 

But for everyone else...no

no no no

no more borrowing money to anyone at all

Everything must have black and white

Everything must do by the paper

Everything must go thru legal channel

For those who owe me money and refuse to pay me back

.......

Make yourself better ...

You can do it!f